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my shoulders hold an unabiding soreness
so thick and deep i am convinced
there are wings coiled inside them
waiting to push through the skin

waiting to unfurl weakly
and hang naked down my back
barely able to lift themselves

they won't molt or shed
but grow steadily until they fall out

baby teeth
leaving wet holes
for stronger versions of themselves
to work their way out of
i remain convinced that carrying coffee pots and lifting trays will give me the arm muscles of a god and i will never have to learn to do a push-up…
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lifeuncommon Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013
Good one! Is the last line quite intentional?
Satah Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013
i certainly uh wrote it on purpose but i'm not entirely sure what you mean by your statement,
lifeuncommon Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013
That reminds me of Salman Rushdie's memoir Joseph Anton.  In it he responds to the accusation that he wrote The Satanic Verses 'on purpose' by saying that of course he did, no one writes a quarter of a million words by accident! ;)

I meant ending the line (and, indeed, the poem) with 'of'? An interesting technique, I was wondering if it was very deliberately chosen or if it was nothing special, just how the line happened to end?
Satah Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013
oh! hmm! i didn't think that was interesting in any way; that's just how the sentence worked out. what about it is peculiar? i'm glad it's effective, in any case
lifeuncommon Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013
Partly because of that 'preposition' grammar rule that is largely ignored and which was famously lampooned by Winston Churchill.

Mainly (and interrelatedly) it gives me a sense of almost-completing-but-not-quite, a very delicate cliffhanger, or maybe a kind of gentle anticlimax?  As you may recall I'm what I call 'a sucker for good endings' so it just sort of stood out for me. :)
Satah Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013
heehee well this is lovely and i would LOVE to say it was on purpose but i'm a bit rusty on the whole thing so everything's back to being kind of a happy accident
lifeuncommon Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013
As for myself, I live from one happy accident to the next. ;)
YouInventedMe Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013   Writer
love the last strophe
Satah Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013
thankyou :heart:
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