robot songre:robot song by missingnumbers
send to: the skythe days leading up to a funeral are never easy.send to: the sky by singmelovesongs
you meet the distant third cousins from 3 towns away who never bothered to visit and yet have the audacity to weep over the coffin. you eat endless quantities of fruit cake and fake laugh at sad jokes. you splash tears on perfect photos. you see the strongest person in your family cry.
you hold lifeless hands that never hold back.
it's fascinating, death. how one moment someone can be so alive and the next minute not. how the memories stay yet the person around whom they are all centered leaves. it seems strange. it seems as though they should go too, although that would be impossibly sad.
today i looked through all your paintings, and all your drawings too. you were really good, Nan Margot. now i understand why Poppa bought that buffalo picture- it looks almost as though it's going to start chewing that piece of grass you put in it's mouth. i read your handwriting and saw your cuttings-out and i smelt your perfume on everything. it
now and thenif only you could see me now. now i am past smoking cigarettes just for the sweet inhalation of rebellion. now i tie my hair back 4 days a week and i listen to music with instruments.now and then by singmelovesongs
now i watch movies and i know they're using a "dolly shot" and now i wear long skirts in the summer time. now i dream lavender-induced dreams of your honey comb kiss on my lips which have now turned sour.
if only you could know that now the thing i miss the most is how you worshipped my hip bones. is that strange? you used to call me "pure". you used to call me "pretty".
i know that if
you could see me now
you would step
all over me-
if i could see me now i'd feel ashamed.
tomorrow i will:
write you a love letter on an exam that will make or break my future
scribble a thousand post-it notes reminding me of "things i need to do"
kiss a lampost because i